My POLITICAL PARANOIA
Usually Quotes from the papers or my personal opinions
Our Caring Sharing Government
Hundreds of illegal immigrants who took the governments bribe of £3000 of taxpayers money to go home have sneaked back into Britain. Two thirds of the ones caught are being allowed to stay. 8000 failed asylum seekers have opted to advantage of these free handouts which at the moment are costing us mugs £9.5 million a year. At the moment it seems the cost of enforced removal of one person appears to average £11,500 and rising.
The other scam "Health Tourists from outside the EU " have had £50 million pounds worth of treatment on the NHS last year” and a third of that money is still outstanding. Not surprising then that the NHS needs to take the houses and possessions of our elderly to pay for their care, and that Secretary of State for Health, Patricia Hewitt, was "to busy" to speak to anyone about the pensioners issues
Q: How can you tell when a politician is lying?
A: Check if his lips are moving.
How competent is your council. ?
In Wigan they are so on the ball they send the bailiffs in to an 80 yr. old lady to demand payment of her rent arrears She owed a massive £0.05. It really makes my heart swell with pride to know that we have such dedicated caring and zealous council officials in England. Dedicated to the protection of rate payers from these terrible scroungers, who, by not paying there bills in full, might leave a shortfall in the amount moneys available for silly schemes. Or Even worse. There might not be enough money available to pay for the councilor’s excessive expenses .
More MoD ( costly bungles)
Fourteen years of Labour & Tory cost cutting have seen the early retirement of Navy Vessels Worth nearly £5 billion.
First Sea Lord Admiral Sir Allen West warned that he does not have enough ships now and will lose another 12 in latest cost cutting round. two front line warships, type 22 frigates HMS Boxer & HMS Brave, half way through their life span have been towed out of Portsmouth and sent to the bottom being used for target practice. Cost £220 Million pounds.
Scraping night-sight bombing system for Harriers in favour of precision guided missiles. £13 million.
Writing-off two Warrior vehicles which smashed into each other on the way to a training camp. £500,000.
Switching suppliers on new Bowman radios, which gave troops radiation burns during testing. £51 million.
Scrapping defective computer chips that would have sent missiles off in the wrong direction. £1.7 million.
Throwing away a new computer system which "could not he made to perform as expected. £491,000.
Ordering the "wrong sort of food" for Royal Marines. £173,972
MONEY MORE IMPORTANT THAN LIVES?
RAF Tornado jets Will only get a Full service and rebuild after 3,000 flying hours rather than the 2.400 hours as at present. Minor inspections after 1000 hours rather than 600 hours. Three aircrew have been killed as a result of aircraft failure but the RAF Integrated Project Team reasoned that more have been killed by pilot error.
What a good way to reason. ( “It doesn’t matter if planes crash through metal fatigue because it will not kill as many people as pilot error) The team has been challenged to increase the service interval to 3,500 hours for these 25 year old planes.
The service interval when the planes were new and all, presumably, in perfect condition, was 1,000 hours.
The Bus Crash
A bus full of MP’s was driving by a farm in Yorkshire when the driver lost control and crashed into a ditch. A local farmer came across the scene of the accident, found the MP’s and buried them.
The next day, the police are at the farm questioning the man. One officer looks at all the graves and says, "So they were all dead when you found them?" and the farmer answered :
"Well, some claimed they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."
Transport Minister Kim Howells “The government should tax people out of their cars , I do not believe petrol prices are High, I want to increase the cost of driving a car up to a point where only a few people will be able to afford it”
Why Should Britain Tremble When We Have The M.o.D.
M.O.D. Ministry Of Denial.
Suggestions that our troops in Iraq & Afghanistan are suffering unnecessary casualties due to having to patrol in unsuitable vehicles have been strongly denied by the MoD. It is strongly hinted thought that they are near to doing a deal with the Rolls Royce Museum and the situation will soon be improved by the purchase of a some Armoured Cars. These will be shipped over as soon as there is money available from the National Lottery to pay for tax & insurance. 
We are also in final negotiations with the Royal Armouries in Leeds for the loan of items of body armour and as soon as details related to hire charges and the possibility of a hire purchase agreement have been finalised these will be shipped out also. It is hoped that this will alleviate the need for troops to share the issued body armour now available. A spokesman for the Department said “ We are working very hard together with the government to protect our forces and give them the equipment they need.
Negotiations are taking place with the aim to secure a “MARSHAL LEASE-LEND PLAN” with the American Government so that their forces can supply our troops with ammunition when they have used up their daily allowance. This will also cover instances where the supplied ammunition is faulty or just won’t quite fit their guns. Once this agreement has been reached our troops can be confident they can fight back without having to use their credit cards. However it will still be necessary for the troops to return empty cartridge cases or misfired rounds to the Quartermasters stores for replacement of rounds issued unless there are mitigating circumstances ( i.e. they have been shot) . In such circumstances a written account of ammunition expenditure should be submitted as soon as the MO certifies fitness for duty. In the case of OR’s no exception is to this regulation will be excepted other than proof that they have died.
The Defence Aviation Repair Agency ( D.A.R.A.) Launched on 1st April 1999, brought together the RAF Maintenance Group Defence Agency (MGDA) and the Naval Aircraft Repair organisation (NARO). DARA offers an ability to completely strip, replace, repair and rebuild aircraft from systems, components and equipment to whole aircraft, for both military and commercial organisations. Project Red Dragon would replace RAF St Athan's existing repair centre with the Construction of a £85m "Super-Hangar", which will include 47 bays to work on fighter aircraft. The bays could be reconfigured to allow engineering teams to also work on heavy-lift, fixed-wing aircraft as well as heavy-lift helicopters such as the Chinook. October 2003,. the government was considering abandoning Project Red Dragon.
In March 2004, DARA lost out on a £150 million contract to upgrade the GR7 Harrier to GR9 specification. DARA announced the loss of 550 jobs at RAF St Athan. 360 posts went as part of streamlining to make DARA more efficient and better able to compete with the private sector for lucrative aircraft repair contracts
On 14 April 2005 the new Project Red Dragon Super-Hangar opened on track. Shame it has no Work
WHITEHALL’S TAXI FARES ONLY COST JUST £15,000 A DAY
Civil servants rack up £15,000 a day on taxi fares, Figures released by government departments reveal an astonishing £3.8million was spent on cabs in one year alone. The worst offender last year was the crisis-hit Home Office, whose officials were responsible for almost a quarter of all cash spent on taxi fares. Its £806,000 bill would put 35 more police constables on the streets for a year, at an average salary of £22,770. I
Or it could send Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott on a cab journey around the world - 17 times. ( Oh Yes Please)
The Department of Work and Pensions, which lost £2.7billion last year in benefit fraud and error, was the next worst. It spent £716,000 in the first nine months of 2006 on taxis - the equivalent of £200 winter fuel allowance payments for 3,580 pensioners. The Department of International Development could immunise 26,000 children in Third World countries against preventable diseases with the £526,068 its staff spent on taxis. The Department of Health's £355,976 bill, would pay for 23,700 GP consultations or 54,765 prescriptions and 4,800 passports could be paid for with the £320,000 taxi bill of the Foreign Office.
DO YOU THINK MP's HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE ADDRESSED AS HONOURABLE ? I THINK NOT.
Ministers have indicated that they will now back a new law to exempt themselves from the FREEDOM OF INFORMATION ACT. This law would prevent you TAXPAYERS from knowing details of their lavish £120,000-a-year expenses plus their exaggerated mileage claims plus their London Housing Allowances of upwards of £20,000. Matthew Elliott, In a letter to Sir Philip he called for a "wholesale review of the system of travel allowances for MPs to ensure that such large bills are not a continuing feature of the system".
One of the politicians whose claims Mr Elliott has asked Sir Philip to examine is the former Labour minister Janet Anderson, who claimed £16,612 in mileage allowances last year. Over the past five years Ms Anderson has claimed almost £16,612 in mileage for official business - equivalent to driving 285,000 miles, or more than the distance to the Moon. Last year alone she claims to have driven more than 60,000 miles, At 50 mph, she would have had to spend three and a half hours driving to and from official constituency business on every single day of last year. Ms Anderson, who also claimed £21,362 last year for running a London home. She did not return calls about her expenses.
Other MPs identified by Mr Elliott include the Tory Jacque Lait, who claimed for driving more than 20,000 miles despite the fact her Beckenham constituency is just 12 miles from Westminster. Labour Left-winger Diane Abbott who claimed £2,335 in taxi fares from her Hackney constituency in inner London. The figures also proved embarrassing for ministers who have been urging the public to abandon their cars to save the planet Minister Ian Pearson, who enjoys the use of a ministerial car for official business, still managed to claim £4,814 in Mileage last year for constituency work, equivalent to driving 13,000 miles despite a direct train service between London and his Dudley constituency in the West Midlands Mr Pearson claimed just £280 in rail fares Junior Environment Minister Barry Gardener who also has a ministerial car claimed £4,213 in spite of excellent public transport between Westminster and his Brent North constituency a few miles away Mr Gardiner made no claims for bus, or Tube tickets.
MP's can usually only claim allowances for driving between Westminster and their constituency homes and for driving around constituencies on official business Few checks are made on mileage claims and they do not have to provide evidence such as petrol receipts, as any normal company giving out such perks would require.
Do you think Mr Elliott will get satisfaction. Can Pigs Fly ?
HOW THESE LEADERS OF OUR ONCE GREAT NATION LOOK AFTER SERVICE PERSONNEL
An Ambulance Driver Nick Horobin who lost an eye and his job, suffered a nine hour operation to have 18 metal plates inserted in his face and is permanently scarred for life after an attack on his ambulance by one of the uncaught scum that now infest our streets, was offered £40,000 compensation. LESS THAN MOST MP’s Claim in yearly expenses.
Peter Sutcliff CHILD MURDERER who lost an eye in a prison brawl RECEIVED £ 196,000
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Willl Rogers
A real Sickener From the paper.
After the terrible women & children MASSACRE in Russia by Inhuman Cowardly Murderers. A fanatical Muslim Cleric calls for hostage taking at British Schools. OMAR BAKARI MOHAMMED founder of the extremist Muhajiroun sect said that a bloodbath like the one in Russia would be acceptable as long as the children died in crossfire. This HOLY man, has called for the execution of a British Prime Minister, spoken in support of suicide bombers and is preparing a celebration of the 9/11 atrocities. He is paid by our government £300 pounds a week in Benefits and despite previous demands for his deportation.
He was granted leave to stay in the UK for five years.
e-mail one : To Human Resources New Labour Party
Ref : Staff Assessment G BROWN
1. Gordon Brown, the proposed replacement PM, can always be found
2. hard at work in his office at No 11. He works independently, without
3. wasting time and ignoring good advice from colleagues. Gordon never
4. thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes his given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
5. measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping
meals and coffee breaks. As an individual who has absolutely no
6. vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Gordon can be
7. classed as a high-caliber politician, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I wholeheartedly recommend that he be
8. promoted to Prime Minister, and a proposal will be put to the party and
9. executed as soon as possible.
Regards, Tony Blair.
e-mail two. FAO: Human Resources New Labour Party
Gordon was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the report I sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd numbered lines [1, 3, 5, etc.] for my true assessment of his ability.
Regards, Tony
£4,877 of our taxes has been paid to Killers & Rapists for artworks done in the " Art therapy classes " It has found £1,000,000 to buy conceptual art for it's new head quarter building ( cost (£ 311,000,000 ). To show it is not wasting our money the H O has employed six leading “artists” and a curator who, will ensure our money is wisely spent. Toby Paterson: SKATEBOARDING ARTIST./ Roger Hioris: he believes STEEL & FLAMES that are Highly Symbolic. Simon Periton Uses DOILIES. One was an 8` pink florescent doily. Georgie Hopton: likes Dead Life, magic wands, glitter and pom-poms. Emma Kay; Her work was the bible from memory, 7,000 Typed words. Runa Islam; uses film & video to show - A woman staring into space. Gary Webb; an installation artist who works with organic material. Curator Liam Gillick ;designs colourfully Perspex panels. The project has been co-ordinated by the Government Art Collection Quango who have just purchased screen prints featuring carrier bags from a grocery store and a chip shop. They have also purchased a collection of dots from the "artist" who pickled the sheep. I feel certain you will all agree " Money Well Spent "
£248,000 paid to fraudster Karl Jones who fell over in the prison shower.
£11,000 paid to families of murder victims Holly Wells & Jessica Chapman
Grannie Do All fairy tales begin with "Once Upon A Time"
" No love. There is a whole series of fairy tales that begin with
"If Elected I Promise"
Britain has invented a new missile. It's called the civil servant,
it doesn't work and it can't be fired.
Department For Work & Pensions.
Has paid out more than £50 million pounds of your money over the last 5 years to people who have suffered through rude & incompetent staff. The Child Support Agency was the worst performer, responsible for more than half the £50 million total.
Ever wondered where your money goes. ?
Never believe anything a politician says until it's been officially denied .
What do you think of the slogan “HMRC Ambition” to boost the moral of the ailing HM Revenue & Customs department that had just lost the personal details of 25 million families. Surly a worthwhile use of our money. It only took 450 of their finest brains and 9.000 hours to devise and develop . It was a bargain at £1.5 million. Unfortunately it does not seem to have had the required effect as it has been dropped after a year and replaced with a new one “HMRC: The VISION.”
ANYONE WANT TO VISUALISE WHAT THEIR AMBITION WILL BE THIS YEAR?
Ever wondered where your money goes. ?
Why do the Brits always moan when they lose their job and houses and things, they should grin and bear it just like Mandelson, that fine example of our stupid parliamentary system. Twice thrown out of his job but he bravely soldiered on with a richly paid none job in the EU before graciously accepting a peerage and once more putting his all on line just for the sake of er! well I'm not certain really, for his sake I suppose. He doesn’t let little things like the country being bankrupt get him down he just keeps on smiling. Even when he had to decide that he didn’t like the £20,000 redecoration of his office, he just knuckled down and spent a further £57,000 getting just right, that’s what I call dedication to the job. He is also thrifty his, department only spent £391,000 last year sprucing up offices for himself and his staff. A fine example to all us winging serfs.
God must love stupid people, he made so many. anon Unfortunately he put them all in the Civil Service. Weary
Ever wondered where your money goes. ?
Instructions From The Speaker Of The House
Due to the need for compliance with the Freedom Of Information Act and as the following definitions no longer have relevance,
they will be replaced in all communications that might be open to public scrutiny as follows.
Right Honourable - (bringing or worthy of honour) - to be replaced by Crooked or Greedy.
Morals - (standards of behaviour or principles right or wrong) - to be replaced by the word Amoral or Rules
Expenses - (costs incurred in the performance of job or tasks) - To be replaced by Back Handers
Allowances - ( money that can be earned or received tax free) should be replaced by the less controversial term "Perks Of The Job"
Sorry - feeling of regret or penitence - This is a word which is very uncomfortable and hard to pronounce by members of all parties
it should not be used at any time, or in any circumstance. Use of this foreign word might imply that we Care
Ever wondered where your money goes. ?
Well I knew that the electorate of Salford could never be parted from Gordon as they seem to be joined at the hip but never in my wildest dreams did I think that they would let the Cheshire Cat back into the story. However they did, I was wrong, they fiddled the boundaries again and boat can carry on rocking.
As I read on the web today.
In Salford you can take the p**s out of people
you represent and the idiots will still back you.
In March, 2004, Miss Blears stated that her second home was the property she owned in her Salford constituency. During that month she bought an £850 television set and video recorder, and a £651 mattress. Her mortgage on the Salford property, which she has owned with her husband since June, 1997, was £300 a month.The following month she changed her declaration and began claiming that a flat in Kennington, south London, was her second home. She started claiming £850 a month for the mortgage on the flat. In August, 2004, she sold the flat for £200,000, making a profit of £45,000. The buyer was Baroness Henig, a former Labour MP from Lancashire. Baroness Henig was also the chairman of the Association of Police Authorities and Miss Blears was the Home Office minister responsible for police reform at the time. There is no suggestion of impropiety.
After selling the south London flat, Miss Blears stayed at hotels in London during September and October, 2004, at taxpayers’ expense. She spent two nights at the Zetter hotel in Clerkenwell, where rooms cost £211 a night. It had just been voted one of the world’s “50 coolest hotels” by Condé Nast and the Frommers guidebook said of the Zetter: “Heaven will be a let-down after this.” In December, 2004, the minister bought another London flat for £300,000. The monthly mortgage was more than £1,000 and Miss Blears initially claimed the maximum £400 a month for groceries. During the next four months, Miss Blears spent £4,874 on furniture, £899 on a new bed and £913 on a new TV — the second funded by the taxpayer in less than a year.
In 2004-05, the minister spent just £94 less than the then maximum permitted allowance of £20,902. The expense claims continued during the 2005-06 financial year. In March 2006, in the run-up to the deadline for claims, Miss Blears spent £668 on bed linen and curtains, £439 on crockery and kitchen equipment and more than £200 on bath towels. During the past two financial years she has claimed the maximum allowable under to the pound.
The voters of SALFORD have got the MP they deserve
Now the bent, brainless and incompetent government that has spent all our money buying it’s votes over the last ten years has finally been prised from office kicking and screaming. Maybe once more Great Britain can recover from this self imposed disaster yet again.
Now we know the true cost of their ten years of vote purchasing.
It remains to be seen if the next lot can pull us out of the hole we are in.
At least lets hope they have enough brains between them to STOP DIGGING
You think you finally got rid of most of the incompetent and crooked MPs, at a cost off aprox £60,000 plus gold pension. Remember some of them are still there
( see below for exceptions)
The Changes have meant that for the time being most of the grumps that keep us Grumpy Old Men going will be in very short supply untill the old habits kick in again in the infamous “ House Of Ill Repute “ on the banks of Old father Thames
 |
The Opinions on this page , are strictly Mine and not necessarily the views of the rest of the family.